What is asexuality?
Asexuality is when a person has little or no sexual attraction to others. It's no more complicated than that.
Different types of attraction
As mentioned, asexuals have little or no sexual attraction to others. However, asexuals can be physically and romantically attracted to others. Sexual, physical and romantic attraction are separate attractions. Therefore, an asexual person can be heteroromantic, monoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, aromantic, and so on.
The spectrum of asexuality
Asexuality is a spectrum and therefore covers several other terms. Some asexuals may consider having sex, but others don't at all. Some asexuals have sex for all kinds of reasons from doing it for their partner, procreation or simply having fun. There are many subcategories of asexuality, but the following can be mentioned as examples and are most commonly known:
Graysexual
Those who feel little sexual attraction but feel it sometimes.
Demisexual
Those who only feel sexually attracted if an emotional relationship has been built first.
How do you know you are asexual?
Everyone has to answer this for themselves. The simplest question is, of course, "Do you experience sexual attraction?", if no, you may just be asexual. But answering this question is often difficult especially if you have never experienced it and really don't know what the feeling is. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
♠ Are you generally not interested in sex?
♠ Do you find sex in relationships to be more of a chore than fun?
♠ Do you look at sex more scientifically than emotionally?
♠ Do you feel like you don't understand everything people talk about when discussing sex?
♠ When you have sex, is it just meh... or as great as others say it is?
♠ Do you think people exaggerate when they talk about how much they love sex?
♠ Have you pretended to be interested in someone sexually to fit in with the group?
♠ Do you feel broken somehow? As if you need to see a doctor or figure it out?
♠ Have you had sex because you feel you should rather than because you wanted to?
Frequently asked questions
Here you can find many common questions regarding asexuality. Learn it here so you don't have to ask.
Aren't asexuals just chaste?
No, asexuality is not a choice. If we take chocolate as an example instead of sex. Asexuals just don't want chocolate, those who are chaste want chocolate but choose not to have chocolate.
Don't you just need to see a doctor? Isn't this just a hormonal imbalance? Maybe you're just impotent?
No, there is no connection between any physical trauma or disease and asexuality, any more than heterosexuality, homosexuality or other inclinations. Sexual health is independent of sexuality, so asexuality has nothing to do with it.
Did something traumatic happen to you? Don't you need to see a psychologist?
No, there is no connection between mental trauma or disease and asexuality, any more than heterosexuality, homosexuality or other inclinations.
Aren't you just afraid to have sex?
No, many asexuals do have sex for all sorts of reasons, they just have little or no attraction to others. What you do does not define your sexuality.
But you said someone was cute, what does it matter what the person looks like if you're asexual?
Asexuals can be physically attracted to others and find them cute, beautiful and so on, but still not be sexually attracted to them.
How are romantic relationships different from friendships? Aren't romantic relationships just friendships with sex?
Just as people can have sex without romantic feelings, individuals can be in romantic relationships without sex. Emotions vary between individuals and love varies. Friendship love, familial love, partner love, all kinds of love. Friendship love is no less remarkable than romantic love, but there is certainly a difference. However, not everyone feels this difference, and therefore some people find it difficult to understand it because they simply do not experience it.
Do asexuals masturbate?
Asexuals can have a strong libido and therefore many do masturbate, some do it simply because it feels good, some don't do it at all.
Do Asexuals have sex?
Some do it for their partner, some to have children and some simply because it feels good. Some people are just not interested in it and skip it.
How do you know you're asexual if you haven't tried sex?
Have you tried sex with a gender you are not attracted to? No? So how do you know you're not sexually attracted to it? You just know it, asexuals know it too.
This is just not logical, if it wasn't for sex, the human race would be extinct! People must have sex!
There are asexuals who want to have children and even have sex for that, or maybe look into artificial insemination or other options. There are also people who are asexual and do not want children.
You just made that word up because you are so unattractive that no one wants to be with you!
Looks and sexual attraction are separate things. Although you associate a person's sexuality with that person having to look a certain way and act a certain way, that's just not the case, it's just a stereotype that's not connected to reality. Asexuals can be "sexy" and attractive. Others may be sexually attracted to them, although asexuals are not sexually attracted to others.
Do asexuals eat pineapple on pizza?
The answer to most questions about asexuals is "Some do, some don't". Being asexual doesn't define you as an individual, it's just a part of being a person. We are all individuals and are as different as there are many of us.
Ace and Aro Iceland